Mr. Thurber should be ashamed of himself for such a scurrilous and contemptible depiction of my dear grandfather, Mr. Toad. –Baroness Raquel Toad, Westport Point, Massachusetts.
You are sure to see this book in the newspapers, literally,… after it has been pulped and turned into newsprint. At this point, the best use of this book would be to wrap fish, at the risk of being cruel to the fish. –The Tidewater Beacon
Mr. Thurber should be condemned for promoting and glorifying the scandalous sport of croquet. This book can only serve to promote the moral decay of our community. – Rev. Cotton Mather III
Mr. Thurber: You might have imagined that your libelous depiction of my client’s family to be amusing, but my client did not. You repeated the outrageous and discredited claim that his weasel relatives had been convicted of overdue library books, but there are no records for this baseless and defamatory claim, never mind their other heinous crimes such as mismatch socks, jay walking, split infinitives, bad breath, and appalling table manners. See you in court! –Crassus “Buddy” Weasel III, Esq.
Lies, lies, damnable lies. –Portly Otter III
Since I am a literary agent, my job is to reject manuscripts, thousands and thousands of them. These submissions quickly become a blur, but Mr. Thurber’s manuscript was so painfully bad that it stood out from the slush pile. It was with immense pleasure that I sent him a tart rejection letter. Imagine my shock and horror when I found this book at a local book store. — Noelle A. Vail, Sisyphus Literary Agency
I was out clipping weeds in our back 40 and noticed a blueberry bush with ripe blueberries! We have zillions of wild blueberry plants but have never harvested any blueberries; we previously got small yields of green BBs that were immediately eaten by the catbirds when they ripened.